these are the good old days

lost and found

today i woke up feeling sad that i can not pick up and go to paris by myself for a month and get lost; walking for hours, cafe creme, wine and fresh fruit, mute on the outside but screaming with ideas on the inside. this lack of freedom does not come without gigantic reward, but it makes me sad none the less. the thing that strikes me most is that it's not a lazy apathetic kind of sad, rather it's hungry and urgent - like the feeling that you've lost your wallet and if you look hard enough you might still be able to find it. maybe i will.

show

i have an art show at the neighborhood caffe next month. i'm excited but nervous. it will be like i am naked in public having them there for all to see every morning when i get my americano.

the adventures of giovanni

i had a dream last night that giovanni became an inventor. he didn't wait until he grew up, he began inventing toys and small items as a boy and moved on to larger items as he grew older.

inspired, in awe, and a little dissapointed

christopher silas neil makes beautiful art that makes me feel inspired and in awe of his visual charm and aesthetic prowess(http://www.redsilas.com/). along with these positive feelings is a feeling of dissapointment, in myself, a dissapointment that stems from the realization that i am not living up to my potential and that i spend too much time watching tv and not enough time honing a craft.

i heart werner

i've had a mad crush on werner herzog for the last ten years or so. it's not because i like the movies he directs, because i don't (for the most part i think they are boring), but i've seen a couple documentaries on him that made me stop and take notice. for me it's all about him as a person; the way he talks, the things he says. sometimes i think he must be kidding with some of the stuff he says, but then i think he must be serious (because he is german).

i like the way men looked when they were dressing "sporty" in the early 80's. werner oozed style in that period; safari chic, with short shorts and a headband, and he topped it all off with a fantastic moustache (remember when moustaches weren't ironic). check out "my best fiend" and you'll see what i mean about him.

rebel poet, liar

i usually tell people that i was a decent speller before spell check, but i am pretty sure this is a big fat lie. often my initial spelling for words is so bad that even spellcheck does not catch the misspelled word to recommend the correct spelling. and forget about grammar, while i really enjoy using semi colons and commas, i am certain that i am breaking all the rules.

the truth is, i like to think of myself as a rebel poet when it comes to the written language, but that is just so i don't have to face the fact that i am really just ignorant and haven't taken the time to master the rules of my first language. i spent high school getting stoned and watching soap operas instead of studying english - now i know why they never say "when are you ever going to use english in the real world" like they say about algebra. this all reminds me of my favorite cher song "if i could turn back time"...